Alzheimer's is such a sad disease! You say goodbye to your loved one before they are even gone, in a way! You lose them before they leave this world. I take care of my granny with Alzheimer's and it is a very hard job. Not just physically, but mentally also. You can remember everything that happens good and bad, but they remember nothing. It's like it never happened.
Just today my granny started talking about that the only place she could stay was with her Daddy. He has been gone for a very long time. He died of a heart attack over 40 years ago, I think. It just makes me want to cry! Especially when she has a moment of clarity, and realizes that she can't do anything. She started crying and there was nothing I could do, because no matter what I said it didn't matter, her mind was stuck on it. I just breaks my heart to see her this way. But, I couldn't leave her and have her in a nursing home. The only reason that would happen is if there was no way she could stay at home. I am going to keep her here as long as possible! She may forget that this is her house and she is at home, but at least I know she is right where she needs to be, even if she doesn't.
About a year ago I wrecked my car and broke my hand, I had a cast for 6 weeks. This was a very trying time in my life. I was taking care of my granny, taking her to the bathroom and so forth, and trying to keep the house straightened up the best I could with one hand. I cried alot then, I look back and can laugh at myself sometimes. I was so clumsy. But my point is I had to do most of the things that I normally did, regardless that I had a broken hand. I did what I had to do! My motto is "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger" and I truly believe that. I feel that I am a stronger person from my experiences. I had been losing weight when I wrecked my car, and I told myself that it was not going to stop me. It was not going to beat me down. I have lost a total of 85lbs. I feel better able to care for my granny now that I am smaller, because physically I feel better.
My point in this post is that with so many diseases out there, Alzheimer's is one of the most saddest there is. I know there are alot that are just as sad, but I haven't had any experience with those. I can only comment on what I have been through with my granny.
Most of the time I can deal with her forgetfulness, and outburst pretty well, I just try and over look it. Sometimes it gets to me, because she can be so hateful. I know it is the Alzheimer and that is why I can deal with it. The other day she hit my niece. I couldn't keep my mouth shut about that. I know I didn't do anything but make it worse, but she is not in her right mind to discipline the children. That is my job. I told her that if she wanted to hit someone to hit me. She couldn't hit hard. I stood there while she tapped at me, and I started laughing, which in turn made her laugh. I love to make her laugh! It didn't last long,but it was a good moment!
I don't mean to ramble, but I hope that someone who is dealing with Alzheimer's can take comfort in that they are not alone, I know that I do.
The other day was really bad, and I had to get out how I was feeling so, I went to the forums on Bonanza.com and posted in the personal area. I had so many comments, that made me feel better. Bonanza is a great selling site where, we are not just sellers and buyers. It feels like we are a community! I love it there! It helps me to have something to do, other than sitting around wishing I could go somewhere and being bored. I can't leave my granny by herself, so I can't get a job outside of our home. I found a selling and buying site that is the best place that I have ever found online! The people are great, caring, and generous!
You can check out my booth at
http://www.bonanza.com/booths/jphendrix and see what keeps me sane while caring for my granny!
Thanks for reading my blog! There will be more coming soon!
Bonanza.com
